I showed him my bush... on skype.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
