definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
