i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
3pm strippers are depressing
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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