Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
