His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We need to get me chipped asap
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
