white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
