the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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