batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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