I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
