Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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