Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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