all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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