I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
