Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
