I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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