I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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