Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
