sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
