Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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