I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I need water and some morals
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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