She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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