what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize