Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Randomize
