My friends, they love my intelligence
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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