Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
