There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize