Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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