i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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