I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
