I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
