I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
