i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He felt like a one man threesome
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
