I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize