Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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