So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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