my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
