We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
that is very illegal...i love you.
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