We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
