Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
