I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We have started to decorate penises.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
