How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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