She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize