im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
