i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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