Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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