:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
i think my cat just said my name.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
