he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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