why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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