are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
