He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
ugly people sure do ruin things
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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