he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
now i know why i became what i already was.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
