what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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