bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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