You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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