More tranny stories later!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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