You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize